Massaging my father 272 Part V: Living the Good Life: Massage for Every Body Use massage as a reward for children who complete their homework. Offer the family chef a massage In return for preparing a special meal. Make the idea of massage non-threatening by offering the simple, seated, back and neck massage (fully clothed) from Chapter 12. If someone says no to massage, respect that person's feelings, but offer a tidbit of Information that may help, such as the location of the headache-reduction massage point in the webbing between the thumb and index finger (see Chapter 13). When a family member does agree to receive his or her first-ever mas- sage, start out easy, with very light pressure, so you don't turn them off to the idea. Do some gentle warmups first, and then use more intense maneuvers after the person is used to your touch. Be willing to be the first one to offer massage and to continue offering it even if the favor is not reciprocated for a while. My father went to Emory University Hospital once for heart surgery, because his arteries were blocked. The entire family was scared. My mom and sister and I accompanied him, and we watched as theywheeled him into the oper- ating room, which was filled with high-tech, expensive equipment thatwe didn't understand. Hours later, he came out okay, but the nurses had to strap him to his hospital bed so he wouldn't accidentally roll over on the tubes and wires that sprouted from his body. I stayed by his side all night, watching his pain and discomfort increase until he asked me to try to do something about it. "Would you mind giving me a little massage, Son?" he asked. I agreed, and then slid my hands along the hos- pitatmattress under his-back until I could curl myfingers up and work on his knotted muscles. The operating table had been as hard as a block of concrete, and being strapped in one position for hours turned outto be the most painful part of the.operation.