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subculture; I just rename them for a general audience. Many polyfolk have similar insights about relationship communication." Being in southern Africa, seeing all these men partnered with multiple women, has brought that conversation to mind. Because the majority of men can't afford multiple wives and some churches frown on the practice, polygyny isn't exactly the default -- but it's certainly a well-respected, highly desirable relationship formation. (Polygyny is the most precise term for the type of polygamy that's practiced here, where men can have multiple wives but women can't have multiple husbands. However, a lot of Africans simply call it "polygamy.") And men who can't go the open route frequently do the same thing discreetly. In the July 2009 issue of New African Magazine, Akua Djanie -- who moved to England at age 10 and grew up there -- observes: "I know very few African men, especially those living on the continent, who keep only one partner. The majority of men I come across are in multiple relationships, sometimes open, but most times on the quiet." She also notes that "in some instances, a man's manhood is judged by the number of women he can keep.” So monogamy is not the default; and negotiating monogamy is difficult, here. But a new factor makes it a matter of life and death: HIV. ok The basic centerpiece of HIV prevention is ABC -- Abstinence, Being faithful, and using Condoms. But the three strategies haven't always received equal airtime. "The Fidelity Fix," a 2004 New York Times Magazine article by Helen Epstein, quoted one analyst who believed "partner reduction has been the neglected middle child of the ABC approach." Epstein wrote, "Perhaps the topic seems weighted with moral judgment; perhaps Western advisors in particular feel it would be insensitive to raise it; perhaps they also feel it would be futile to try to change deeply rooted patterns of behavior." She outlined those patterns and concluded, "A fidelity campaign does seem worth a t

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