Here's my short answer for those guys: If you know women who are submissive and/or masochistic in bed, that means those particular women like being submissive and/or masochistic in bed. It doesn't mean anything else. You're still here? Ah, well. I figured that wouldn't satisfy. So here's a longer answer: Firstly, if you're a straight dude, and you're drawing conclusions about "all women" based on the women you get involved with, then stop. Just stop. Even if you have slept with zillions of women, you don't actually know what all women want, because: A) Your experience of women is limited to women who got involved with you. You are screening for certain qualities, sometimes consciously, and sometimes unconsciously or by accident. If you tend to enjoy the dominant role, for example, or if you use a dominant style of flirtation, then you could be screening for submissive female partners, whether you intend to or not. B) Everyone has biases, including you. I love the old saying: "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." If you have a bias towards seeing women as sexually submissive (and you almost certainly do, because female sexual submission is a hugely prevalent cultural trope), then you're more likely to see female submission in places where it does not exist. C) Women, like people of all genders, are demonstrably varied. You really don't think non-submissive straight women exist? Why then, it must be so inconvenient when I point you to the work of blatantly dominant women, huh? It's shocking, I know... next I'll be telling you that queer and asexual women exist! (Not to mention women who switch among roles -- from submissive to dominant, from sadistic to masochistic. I primarily go for submissive masochism, but still, I myself play for both teams.) The thing is, though... no matter how many holes I can poke in these dudes' anecdotal "data," I can't bring myself to worry like they do. Even if a brilliant, well-reviewed study came out tomorrow an