ok Orgasms Aren't My Favorite Part Of Sex, and My Chastity Urge My previous piece "A Unified Theory of Orgasm" was really well-received, and a lot of people have thanked me for writing it. As always, though, there's some mixed feedback too. And I've been worried about one thing in particular: it seems like a lot of people missed the part in my article where I said that, now that I've learned how to have orgasms... orgasms aren't even my favorite part of sex. It's a long article, and I can see how people would miss that, but I did say it and I think it's important. It may be ironic that I spent so much time feeling terrible and broken and depressed because I couldn't figure out how to have orgasms... whereas now I prefer not to focus on them. In fact, I estimate that most of my current sexual encounters don't include my orgasm, and very few of my most pleasurable sexual encounters have included my orgasm. I'm the first to admit that I don't know everything about sex, and there's a lot that I haven't experienced. Anything might change. But seriously. The best sex I've had in my life has been connective and emotional and, for me personally, has frequently involved intense BDSM. My favorite sex so far? Has also mostly been orgasm-free. Some people in some sex-related communities have asserted that for maximum amorous power, it's actually best to limit one’s orgasms, because then the contained sexual energy ends up channeling into a deeper connection with one's partner. I can see that. For me, another way of thinking about it is that I'm really into being teased -- and I'd rather experience hours of being teased without an orgasm, than have a quick encounter that ends in orgasm. And.... (Oh no, I can already tell this is going to get complicated... but hey, sex is complicated, so I'll give it a shot.).... Especially when I'm doing BDSM, it can actually be hot sometimes if I don't have an orgasm. For example: if I go to sleep so turned on that I can't dream about anything