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HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018509

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When this article was first posted, a guy grabbed the first comment on the version that I posted to the feminist blog Feministe, protesting that I clearly don't get the men's side of this equation. I don't usually get super angry about comments on the Internet, but in that case I did, and I had to take a while to calm down. There was a mild comment fracas. Eventually, in response to that guy, I wrote: I worked really hard on this article to try and note both: A) how men's perspective might make this difficult for them, but simultaneously B) why men’s insecurities aren't actually an excuse for men to treat women badly. In my experience women are actually extremely aware of men's insecurities. Women frequently silence themselves and put up with a lot of crap because we are afraid of "emasculating" our man, as I specifically noted in the article. Given that this was an article about: 1) a woman's experience, 2) and what it's like to be a woman, 3) and why this issue is difficult to take on as a woman, 4) and why women shouldn't allow men's insecurities to shut us up... ... can you see why I would avoid putting a lot of text towards describing men's insecurities in loving detail? Now. With that having been said.... One of the guys in the Clarisse Thorn Manliness Brain Trust (tm) emailed me with some thoughts in the wake of this article. Once again, I want to emphasize that I don't want anyone to feel that they "ought to” give a crappy partner "another chance” if that partner is treating them badly. I spent years giving a terrible boyfriend millions of second chances because I kept telling myself that he was just "insecure." Walking away from that oh-so-"insecure" man was one of the best choices I ever made. Nonetheless, I think that the following comment from my Manliness Brain Trust (tm) friend might be useful for some people: When I first saw this post, my first thought was that I have to pass it on to a couple of the people I'm involved with, who have d

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