and care from each participant. I would advise a person interested in such a relationship to only consider it with a partner they know very well; to establish pressure-free channels of communication; and to ensure crystal-clear understanding of how, exactly, the relationship can be ended if anyone involved truly wants it to end. ok Journal-Keeping Some BDSMers play with really, really strong power dynamics. A good example of this is couples who choose a "24/7 dynamic": one partner is dominant and the other is submissive... all the time. I attended a workshop once with Sir Top and slave bonnie, two wise BDSM educators, where I learned that slave bonnie was only ever allowed to disobey orders of two kinds: * Suicidal orders, * Orders that would cause financial ruin. The rest of the time, bonnie obeyed Top -- all the rest of the time. Obviously, relationships like this are totally cool with me as long as they are -- say it with me, everyone -- 100% consensual! Such relationships can also encourage the use of interesting communication tactics, because many of the usual tactics don't feel right to the participants. For example, these relationships often take place between people who feel such a strong power dynamic that it would be almost impossible for the submissive to feel comfortable safewording -- safewording can feel disconcertingly like a form of resistance. One way of dealing with this problem is for both partners to keep journals that are open to the other partner. (With some couples, only the submissive keeps an open journal.) They talk about their romantic feelings, they process their sexual encounters, they articulate anxieties, etc. Sometimes a partner will give the other one journal prompts to answer. The idea is that it's easier to express these things when there's a designated space for it outside the relationship; the journals mean that partners (especially submissives) can talk about what they need without fearing that they're undermining the power dyna