4.2.12 WC: 191694 conviction on the ground that “Cohen’s absurd and immature antic” was “mainly conduct and little speech.” Under this approach, “all” speech remains constitutionally protected, but if you don’t like the content of a particular speech—“Fuck the draft” worn on a jacket—simply call it “conduct” and by slight of hand (or abuse of language), the constitutional protection vanishes. In other words, First Amendment absolutists—those who claim to read literally and apply absolutely the words “no law abridging the freedom of speech”—simple declare a genre of expression that they do not wish to protect to be “not speech.” It reminds me of the story of the Theodore White’s famous visit to Communist China in the days when only a select few were invited. He was hosted by Chou en Lie at a banquet at which the main dish was roasted pork. White, a moderately observant Jew, told the Communist leader that he could not eat pig. Without missing a beat the leader told his guest that in China only he has the power to declare what a food item actually is. “I hereby declare this to be duck,” he said. So White ate the “duck.” According to the absolutist view, obscenity—including dirty words used in the context ofa political protest—is not speech. (Perhaps it’s “duck.”) The same is true for other categories of expression that do not—in the view of at least some absolutists—warrant the protection of the First Amendment. I know of no absolutist who would argue that all expression—including words of extortion, falsely shouting fire in a crowded theater, or disclosure of all secrets—are protected by the First Amendment. Non-absolutists recognize that these forms of verbal expression are indeed “speech,” but they argue that the words of the First Amendment should not be read literally. Some argue that they must be understood in the context of the times when they were written, and they point to restrictions on speech that were widely recognized in 1793. Under this approach, muc