[Courtney Cox is emceeing the event. Now she’ s announcing the winner.] Courtney: And the Best Stand-up Comedy Award goes to .. . Jerry Seinfeld! [erry walks up to the stage. Courtney and Jerry embrace warmly. She gives him the statuette. As the audience applause subsides, the blood flow to the spongy tissue in Jerry’ s penis increases. He _ tries unsuccesstully to hide his erection with the statuette] Jerry: Thank you all so much. Well, as you can see, |' m very excited about receiving this reward. | feel all tingly. And | have a headache. I’ ma little dizzy too. An erection is like a cop. When you want one, it’ s never there. But when the /ast thing in the world you want is a hard-on—a public hard-on—then boing! \' m busted, right here on stage, with a spotlight, in front of five hundred strangers. | feel like | have to vomit. I’ Il try to avoid the first few rows. And everything looks blue. Especially my testicles. Is there a groupie in the house? Well, I’ m not actually a group. |s there a singly in the house? Who would like to get laid tonight? I’ Il point the way. So I’ ve become a human dowsing rod. Now | think I’ m gonna faint. But even while |’ m lying unconscious here on the stage //erry Is fainting], my penis will still be a stand-up... HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015402