wearing Love Mitts and massaging a man’ s lubricated penis. This is a bizarre mixed-media sensation. Although | don’ t get a hard-on, the lobes of my brain seem to fuse, and for the next few hours my left hand persists in feeling neglected. Checking out the functional furniture, | merely eavesdrop on a (fully clothed) couple testing out the “rocking torso feature” on a Love Table, but | actually climb into the Love Swing, assuming a position ordinarily assumed by a woman while the man stands up, crotch to crotch. My body is suspended half upside-down in mid-air with legs spread and feet up in stirrups. I' m feeling mighty vulnerable. As | hang there, the inventor hands me my tape recorder, then proceeds to show me how “the woman can place the man’ s penis on her G-spot by moving her legs from a position of being out front like this to being in the fetal position” and how “the man, instead of just going in and out like that, he can make his penis a joystick, so every step he takes is a movement inside of her, more like a dance step.” He guarantees, “You' Il never use a bed again.” Next | inspect the Bungee Sexperience—a harness designed by a company that makes bungee cords—it bounces in the air, so the “rider” can enjoy weightless sex in a variety of positions. | ask the woman demonstrating this how many hours a day she bounces up and down. “At HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015195