Surprisingly, | was not embarrassed about the infamous cigar incident. | felt that it had been an act of restraint from actua/ intercourse. Kind of tender and playful. Now, if it had been a Cuban cigar, that would have been illegal. But this was not the sort of intimacy that | would have felt comfortable performing with the First Lady. Hillary and | are really close, but as I’ m sure you understand, no cigar. For her, the most revealing thing in 7he Starr Report is Monica’ s fantasy about our—Monica and me—being together more often when |’ II be out of office; where she quotes me as saying, “Il might be alone in three years.” Hillary was furious, not only because it had provided a young intern with false encouragement, but also because it implied that we--Hillary and me--don’ t have sex, and she felt it divulged our agreement that if we were to separate, it would not occur before we left the White House. For me, the most revealing section—in that same section of the report—is Monica’ s testimony that | jokingly said, “Well, what are we going to do when I|' m seventy-five and | have to pee twenty-five times a day?” True, | did say that, but | really wasn’ ¢ joking. In fact, it was my fear of old age that kept drawing me to Monica. She was my direct link to youth. So | was being /itera/ about peeing twenty-five times a day when HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015139