Pope Endorses Condoms When | was a kid, condoms were called prophylactics, prophylactics were called rubbers, and rubbers were called scumbags. My friends and | would find used scumbags in a vacant lot or in the alley between buildings. Once, while snooping, | found a large package of unused prophylactics in my father’ s sock drawer. It must have held a dozen. Now there were nine left. Each was tightly rolled, bound by a miniature cigar- like band. | selected one, took the band off, and carefully unrolled it. There was a legend imprinted on the prophylactic: “Sold in Drug Stores Only For the Prevention of Disease.” What hypocrisy! They were sold for the prevention of pregnancy, which is a condition, not a disease. The irony is that now condoms don’ f¢ carry that message but they are used for the prevention of disease. Anyway, | tried to re-roll my father’ s prophylactic and stuff it back into the band, but it was a losing battle, so | decided not to put it back in the package, figuring that my dad wasn’ t counting his condoms and would never know. As an adolescent, | found that purchasing condoms was a traumatic experience. | would buy other stuff to avoid being embarrassed. “I’ d like a Batman comic book, and this Snickers candy bar, and [whispering] a HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015058