A true account by AJ Jacobs, editor-at-large at Esquire magazine (ellipses represent passage of time between entries) IT BEGAN a month ago. I was midway through The World Is Flat, the bestseller by Tom Friedman. I like Friedman, despite his puzzling decision to wear a mustache. His book is all about how outsourcing to India and China is not just for tech support and carmakers but is poised to transform every industry in America, from law to banking to accounting. I don’t have a corporation; I don’t even have an up-to-date business card. I’m a writer and editor working from home, usually in my boxer shorts or, if ’'m feeling formal, my penguin-themed pajama bottoms. Then again, I think, why should Fortune 500 firms have all the fun? Why can’t I join in on the biggest business trend of the new century? Why can’t I outsource my low-end tasks? Why can’t I outsource my life? The next day I e-mail Brickwork, one of the companies Friedman mentions in his book. Brickwork — based in Bangalore, India—offers “remote executive assistants,” mostly to financial firms and healthcare companies that want data processed. I explain that I'd like to hire someone to help with Esquire-related tasks —doing research, formatting memos, like that. The company’s CEO, Vivek Kulkarni, responds, “It would be a great pleasure to be talking to a person of your stature.” Already I’m liking this. ve never had stature before. In America, I barely command respect from a Bennigan’s maitre d’, so it’s nice to know that in India I have stature. A couple of days later, I get an e-mail from my new “remote executive assistant.” Dear Jacobs, My name is Honey K. Balani. I would be assisting you in your editorial and personal job.... I would try to adapt myself as per your requirements that would lead to desired satisfaction. Desired satisfaction. This is great. Back when I worked at an office, I had assistants, but there was never any talk of desired satisfaction. In fact, if anyone ever used the phras