7 mother of all red carpets. We ended up in front of thousands of cameras and | instructed Simon to take baby steps for an hour. Meryl’s publicist Leslee Dart whispered to me. “She is dressed like an Oscar. What do we do if she loses?” Sacha Baron Cohen hilariously guilted the Academy into letting him wear his costume from “The Dictator” and after soiling Ryan Seacrest he went directly to dinner at Vanity Fair. Gwyeneth Paltrow won the style award in Tom Ford’s white column and Angelina Jolie so successfully invented a new one legged pose in a thigh high slit gown on the red carpet she repeated it for 39.3 million people onstage. Tickets were so tight that | gave my plus one to Penelope Ann Miller because she promoted “The Artist” every day for four months. Seated next to us were co-stars James Cromwell and Missi Pyle. Billy Crystal made us laugh, Cirque de Soleil made us gasp and most of the wins were expected. Colin Firth crowned Meryl her third win on a record 17 nominations and Harvey beamed. The Academy was so confident "The Artist" would win; they invited Uggie, who waited in the wings and ran out as Tom Cruise announced the film. Once the show was off the air, | followed my seatmates to the stage loaded with their programs, wraps and handbags and led the French to the press rooms. The Governor's Ball was the next stop where the winners got their Oscars engraved. Everyone paid respects to the Academy’s Tom Sherak and Dawn Hudson. Stars headed to the Sunset Tower to Graydon’s glittering Vanity Fair Oscar bash and their militarized security with micro chipped cards. If your name was not on the list and you were carrying an Oscar, you could walk in. Billy and Janice Crystal were mobbed with well-wishers. Elton John made $5 million dollars at his 20th AmFar event which also auctioned off two tickets to Vanity Fair’s party for $230 thousand dollars. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were thrilled to talk to George Lucas. Gwyneth snuggled with Coldplay's Chris Martin and