From: jeffrey E. <[email protected]> Sent: Friday, October 13, 2017 7:26 PM To: Melanie Spinella If you have ever experienced sexual as=ault or harassment, you know that one of the cruellest things about these acts is the way that they entangle, and attempt to contaminate, all of the best things about you. If you're sweet and friendly, you'll think that it'= your fault for accommodating the situation. If you're tough, well, you might as we=l decide that it's no big deal. If you're a gentle person, th=n he knew you were weak. If you're talented, he thought of you as an equal. 1= you're ambitious, you wanted it. If you're savvy, you knew =t was coming. If you're affectionate, you seemed like you were asking for=it all along. If you make dirty jokes or have a good time at parties, then why get moralistic? If you're smart, there's got to be some=way to rationalize this. When you are a young woman, and you believe in your=own worth and personhood and agency, it can be hard, despite the clichés that govern this situation, to understand that an older man who takes an interest in you does not necessarily share these beliefs. And, of course, young women are not the only victims of such crimes. But this is a basic and familiar pattern: a powerful man sees you, a woman who is young and who thinks she might be talented, a person who conveniently exists in a female body, and he understands that he can tie your potential to your female body, and threaten the latter, and you will never be quite as sure of the former again. Afterward, you are r=rely presented with even a single good option. Stay silent and you have acquiesced to whatever happened. Tell a friend and nothing much will be done. Come forward to an authority figure and you'll face unfair consequences: people will be uncomfortable aroun= you, perceiving ulterior motives; people will look for reasons that this happened to you, specifically; maybe you simply won't be believed. =here will be retrib