From: Jackie Martling < Sent: Friday, November 18, 2016 9:57 PM To: [email protected] Subject: see Jackie in Bohemia LI, Bensalem, Philadelphia! Three kids are talking about Christmas. The first kid says, "My Pop hides the Christmas presents in the attic." The second kid says, "My father hides the Christmas presents in the basement." The third kid says, "My old man hides the Christmas presents in his pants." The first kid says, "What?" The third kid says, "Yeah. When I told my old man I wanted a bike for Christmas, he grabbed his crotch and said, 'I got your bike right here.— Thanksgiving! ... and I just finished my leftovers ... my favorite thing to do? run a nice hot bath, light a few candles & pour a glass of wine ... then I know after forty minutes of answering e-mail I'll have a nice clean girlfriend ... many people ask me about masturbation ... the truth? I've always had a problem ... Boy Scout Camp we had a masturbation contest ... I finished first and third. Elias Plagianos' sitcom, "Shoot Me Nicely" ... with Linda Hamilton, John Behlmann, William Sadler, Josh Burrow & me ... is about to be picked up for six episodes! yay! my biggest news! I just signed a deal for my autobiography ... any questions you want answered? e-mail me! please tell everybody you know that to get on the list for monthly jokes, to just e-mail me, [email protected] when's the last time you "Used Your Finger!" and dialed (516) 922-WINE ?! still going, 37 years later ... 1516-922-9463 ] and always remember: if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving Long Island! I hope to see you at McGuire's Comedy Club in Bohemia on Long Island, 7pm Saturday, December 3rd! Jackie EFTA_R1_00108273 EFTA01785860